more small steps

I visited the midwifery unit today to catch up with everyone there and to find out about all the changes before I start teaching again in January. It was really good - what a lovely unit, although currently quite quite for deliveries. I am so glad I went. I feel ready to teach again, I saw some new babies and I was able to talk about Jamie without sobbing.

I don't think I'll be ready to face the RVI for quite some time but today was a good move, and definitely some progress for me.

I'm so glad I feel able to teach again - I really don't want Jamie's death to have a negative effect on our lives. I need to turn it into a positive and if that means pouring my love into my family and into a job that I LOVE then so be it. It will be hard but it means too much to me to give up.

I love my son, I miss him and the tears will continue to fall for a very long time but I cannot sit at home and become depressed about what I no longer have, I need to celebrate what I do have and try my best to have a happy life.