Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I had a special moment with my littlest girl this morning. Cuddled up in bed Lu told me so loved me, and after a huge hug she told me she wished Jamie was still here because she misses him. Lucy had only just turned three when Jamie died and we really didn't expect Jamie to remain in her thoughts. Lucy told me about visiting Jamie in hospital - she can remember touching him, she can remember the special bed he was on and all the wires and tubes he was attached to.

I have always felt blessed for having Jamie for those three short days but never more so than now - he has had a huge impact on his sisters, more than we ever imagined possible. The girls talk about Jamie with so much love, tenderness and, sometimes, humour. I love talking about Jamie with them, it means he was here, he touched us, he isn't forgotten but it just breaks my heart that he isn't here to argue with and tease his sisters. We will never get to hear him laugh, to see him giggle, to hear him say his first words or to see him make his first steps. My heart aches with the desire to see him and hold him again - when I close my eyes I can see him, I can smell him, I can feel his skin on my lips and I can feel his soft curly hair.

My precious boy was so poorly, he wasn't meant for this world - he stayed with us for as long as he could and left us with some beautiful memories. I miss my boy, I wish he could have stayed for longer, I wish I was snuggled up to him now.

1 Comments:

Blogger janis said...

Big ((hugs))
Three days stretched over a lifetime of you and your children, that's so precious.

10:27 PM  

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