We are now approaching our second Christmas without Jamie. I feel a mixture of lost and found, happy and sad. Life is going as well as it can be - my girls are fantastic, I am busy, I have some great friends and the love of a good man but some days I feel so so lost and wonder whether that will ever end. For my girls, I am looking forward to Christmas but I know it will also be emotional and, at times, unbearable.
I would do anything to have my boy back with us again. I have to figure out how to close the gap in my life because some days it just hurts too much. Am I to experience this for the rest of my life? To lose a child has to be the hardest experience in the world because it lasts a lifetime, a wound that never properly heals.
I have to work out how to be happier - I have so much to be happy about but my head won't let me relax and enjoy life.
I would do anything to have my boy back with us again. I have to figure out how to close the gap in my life because some days it just hurts too much. Am I to experience this for the rest of my life? To lose a child has to be the hardest experience in the world because it lasts a lifetime, a wound that never properly heals.
I have to work out how to be happier - I have so much to be happy about but my head won't let me relax and enjoy life.
1 Comments:
No, you do not have to work out how to be happier, you have to work out how to accept that Jamie was, is and will always be a part of your life, there will be sad times, but there are also the very good times.
You are a good, woman my love. You have fantastic girls and a loving husband, but you have also been through a harrowing time, and you will all deal with the gap in your own way. NEVER, never think that you have to "get over" this loss.
Sorry - if that came across as waffle, but you are wonderful and its saddens me to think that you feel sad because your still missing Jamie, your aloud too!
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