Monday, April 30, 2007

I feel like I can have a little bit if hope again. The amnio results are back in as normal, which is such a relief as I really did expect an chromosome problem after the gloom of the last few weeks. My beautiful strong baby does not have a life-threatening chromosome problem. I made it through the weekend by being the kids, they really are the best distraction, but by last night I was tense, stressed and very emotional and it really hit me that we might not get a baby to bring home. I've spent most of the day in tears, expecting the worse from the results but Edwards and Patau syndrome has now been ruled out.

We know just have to hope that this baby is strong enough to cope with the heart defect and pray it doesn't get any worse so it is strong enough to cope with surgery when it is born.

I feel drained and very tired. I can't help feeling that interventions such as scans just add to the stress in pregnancy and I would have been happily enjoying my pregnancy at this point had I not had any scans. As it is I feel very drained and our long journey has barely started. Me & Gary need to make sure we make time for each other to listen and support each other and just to be together, otherwise this is just going to be too hard.

I'm absolutely amazed by the support from people and I feel happy that the kids will be kept entertained and looked after should we need to be in hospital for any length of time, and hopefully they can get through this relatively unscathed!

This is the hardest thing I have had to face in my life but I am still eternally grateful to my 2 beautiful children and my amazing husband for keeping me going. I am determined to take it one step at a time and accept that there are going to be more lows on the way but, hopefully, we'll make it through the other end.


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