and then it all went down hill

i feel so so so so so so so sad. all i want to do is cry, i miss my little boy so much and i want him here with me. Last night i felt so lost sitting on the couch with gary, i should have been holding my baby, feeding him but my arms were empty and they ached so much. i went to see my girls who were asleep in bed and I held them to make the ache go away.
why was he taken away from me, i want him back