Today didn't go to plan. The pier is closed for repairs so we can't scatter Jamie's ashes there. I should feel really disappointed because I am ready to do it but I don't, it just wasn't the right time. I'll find out when the pier might open and take it from there. So Jamie's ashes are back home with us for a while longer. I hugged them all night but now his urn can go back into our bedroom and I get to hug them again before we scatter them at some point in the future. I realise that sounds crazy but trust me I'm not. I still feel ready to set Jamie's ashes free so atleast we're not holding onto them because we are too scared to let them go.